#1 humor site on the 'net

DeadLights

Halloween headlights for ghoulfriends

DeadLights thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Rigid, the skeleton of habit alone upholds the human frame. - Virginia Woolf

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

She's a skeleton in the sand right now. She comes and she goes. - Annalies Corbin

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. - Wilson Mizner

America forms the longest and straightest bone in the earth's skeleton. - Ellsworth Huntington

There was nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the lights were on. - Rod Serling

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast. - Charles Dickens

My movies are usually about stripping off the makeup, getting down to the skeleton. - Michael Douglas

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly-swatter. - G.C. Lichtenberg

As an actor you become that lighting rod between the person who made the play and the audience. - Christopher Walken

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off the lights for economical rather than romantic reasons. - Lillian Carter

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. The difference between Bill Clinton and myself is that he has a walk-in closet. - Pat Buchanan

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won't feel like you are alone anymore. - Unknown

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien


Hawaii Surfing

Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough

Before Online Dating

Wood Trike

Crow Species

Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Lockdown Advice

Wii Way

Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration

Biden in the Oval Office

Poor Fishing Day

Mustache Breeze

Chain Weave Hairstyle

Jar of Birds