#1 humor site on the 'net

Dog Biscuits

If you think that dogs can't count

Dog Biscuits thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Red Blood Count: Dracula - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown

An angry dog is best led by its tail. - Unknown

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Calculator: A product you can count on - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. - J Paul Getty

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

If you can't sleep do not count the sheep, worship the Shepherd. - Unknown

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. - Abraham Lincoln

Jealousy is the art of counting someone else's blessings instead of your own. - Unknown

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

What counts can't always be counted; what can be counted doesn't always count. - Albert Einstein

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

Sometimes I think I won't ever feel safe until I can count my last days on one hand. - Gillian Flynn

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

By my count, more business leaders have failed and derailed because of arrogance than any other character flaw. - Harvey Mackay

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Puck: 1. A hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another; 2. Last week's left-over biscuit. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light, and you will return to those realms. - Terence McKenna

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Tree Removal

Happy Billionaire Halloween

Almost Done

Halloween Transformers

Latte Defined

Bush Zombie

Clean Windows Are Highly Over-rated

Cutting Off Board

Eat Your Dinner!

Hormone Guide

Gun Laws

Pumpkin-Themed Baby Announcement

Wolfermelon

Car Axident

Centipede Pumpkin

Hiding Horse

How To Enjoy Pumpkin Beer

Bourbon Shampoo

Goat Bike

Food Art

Rednecks At Play

She's A Keeper

Algebra Relationship

Pumpkin Races