#1 humor site on the 'net

DogWood

Knot found in new species of canine tree

DogWood thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Colic: A sheep dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An angry dog is best led by its tail. - Unknown

Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tweezers: A tool for removing wood splinters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Chop your own wood, and it will warm you twice. - Henry Ford

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Dialogue: Changing the colour of a piece of wood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. - Harrison Ford

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

I can look at the knot in a piece of wood until it frightens me. - William Blake

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Xylophonist: A superstitious person who goes around knocking on wood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

If you think you have influence, try ordering some else's dog around. - Amish Saying

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. - Robert Frost

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt

UNinvolved

Plane Oops!

Manitoba Home Security System

Outdoor Pool

Working From Home

Snowbound Train

Smirnoff Women

Redneck Dent Repair

Cocktail Shirt

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Boy George or Boy Gorge?

Tall Guy Bike

Lord Voldemort Rock

Illusionary

Copperhead Tree

Dream Big

Spot the Man's Head Hidden in the Coffee Beans

British Survey