#1 humor site on the 'net

Far North Cable Guys

Working in the frozen north without a bucket truck

Far North Cable Guys thanks to Jim Serritella

Jethro wasn't sure whether he was to work on the North Pole or South Pole

Cabelevision with no safety vision
QuotaBills
Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Dead Ringer: A disconnected telephone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

My alone time is for everyone's safety. - Unknown

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I failed to make the chess team because of my height. - Woody Allen

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

A man's true height is determined by his thoughts and actions. - Unknown

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. - Casey Stengel

This dwarf still observes the world from his own self-imposed height. - Dejan Stojanovic

The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

Optimism and self-pity are the positive and negative poles of modern cowardice. - Cyril Connolly

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose. - Mark Twain

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety. - Abraham Maslow

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

I was training to be an electrician. I suppose I got wired the wrong way round somewhere along the line. - Elvis Presley

Never measure the height of a mountain, until you have reached the top. Then you will see how low it was. - Dag Hammarskjold

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. - Ambrose Bierce

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


Pittsburghese

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt

An Evening Prayer

Baby Clone

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour

Redneck GPS

Snow Receiver

Book Perspective

Why Stand In Line?

How Twins Are Made

Ups and Downs

Irish Flu Shots

Snake Circle

Romantic Accident

Winter Mirror

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Abbey Road Joe-kster and Bernie

Straws

Chernobyl Fish