Flat Tire Repair

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Racist Pig: A hog on wheels - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The legs are the wheels of creativity. - Albert Einstein

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare. - Steven Wright

Spare the rod and spoil the Memorial Day rotisserie. - Brian Spellman

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

The wheel turns and turns and turns: it never stops and stands still. - Anita Desai

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

You can buy anything on eBay. I bought the world's oldest globe. It's flat. - Buzz Nutley

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. - Charles Dickens

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The wheel of change moves on, and those who were down go up, and those who were up go down. - Jawaharial Nehru

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

The misery which follows pleasure is the pleasure which follows misery. The pleasure and misery of mankind revolve like a wheel. - A Nagarjuna

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

In the best, the friendliest and simplest relations flattery or praise is necessary, just as grease is necessary to keep wheels turning. - Leo Tolstoy