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Golfers and Scotch

Golf - now the official alternative to the NFL

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

Golfers and Scotch thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

Where there's a Will there's a Fairway. - Unknown

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

Good Sportsmanship: Not picking up lost golf balls while they are still rolling - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump


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