#1 humor site on the 'net

Hannuka Plant

Sheered marijuana art for a happier season reason

Hannuka Plant thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Recede: Plant the garden again - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A weed is no more than a flower in disguise. - James R Lowell

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

It's a point or setter plant (poinsettia). - Archie Bunker

Plant smiles
Grow laughter
Harvest love - Unknown

Weed: A plant whose virtues have not been discovered - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later. - Og Mandino

Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt

A lucky person is someone who plants pebbles and harvests potatoes. - Greek Proverb

Hydroponic Gardening: Using a plant to convert water into yard work - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Natural abilities are like natural plants: to grow, they need pruning. - Red Auerbach

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? - George Carlin

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious. - Bill Meyer

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat bacon. - Unknown

Our ideas, like orange-plants, spread out in proportion to the size of the box which imprisons the roots. - Edward Bulwer Lytton

We dried continuously day and night. We had no efficient way to do it, so we built this new popcorn plant. - Orville Redenbacher

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality. - Earl Nightingale

Plant a radish, get a radish - never any doubt. That's why I love vegetables; you know what they're about. - Tom Jones

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

The sudden appearance of mushrooms after a summer rain is one of the more impressive spectacles of the plant world. - John T Bonner

Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating. - Richard Neville

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another. - Napoleon Hill

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash


Peddle Sewing Machine Sink

You Never Call

Dawntastic

Work Rules

Navy Golf Course for Aircraft Carriers

Less Severe Inflation

Hotel Annex

King Stump

Diet Carbs

Home Made Limo

Cool Reading Room

Biggest Fan On The Block

Vintage Birth Control

Close Shave

Australian RV

Panorama Dog

Revenue Canada Subscription Cancellation

Why You Shouldn't Let Your Dog Drink Beer

Reflection

Plane Tennis

New IRS Form

Wisconsin Cheese

MAGA King

Baby Formula