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I am an atheist... thank God. - Dave Allen

There are no atheists in foxholes. - Unknown

By night an atheist half believes in God. - Edward Young

I'm an atheist and I thank God for it. - George Bernard Shaw

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

I do not believe in God and I am not an atheist. - Albert Camus

If there were no God, there would be no atheists. - G K Chesterton

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

I wanted to be an atheist, but I gave up. They have no holidays. - Henny Youngman

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. - Woody Allen

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading. - C S Lewis

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

The only people I've met in this world who never doubt are materialists and atheists. - Malcolm Muggeridge

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Christian Atheists: those who say they are Christians but choose to live like God doesn't exist. - Craig Groeschell

Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. - Ricky Gervais

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

It ain't enough that he's a Pinko and an atheist. You gonna turn him from a man to a morphadite? - Archie Bunker

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

To be an atheist requires an indefinitely greater measure of faith than to receive all the great truths which atheism would deny. - Joseph Addison

The Cross! There, and there only though the deist rave, and the atheist, if Earth bears so base a slave; There and there only, is the power to save. - William Cowper


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