He Did It

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Children make your life important. - Erma Bombeck

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration. - Jon Stewart

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

Inspiration and genius - one and the same. - Victor Hugo

It takes an entire village to raise a child. - African Proverb

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

The best way to make children is to make them happy. - Oscar Wilde

The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day. - John Milton

For when a child is born the mother also is born again. - Gilbert Parker

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. - Maya Angelou

A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be. - Carol Coats

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

Children are paparazzi. They take your picture when you don't want them to. - Jamie Lee Curtis

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

If you're going to write a book on how to raise children, do it before you have them. - Bob McLaren

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

Children are not a distraction for more important work. They are the most important work. - C S Lewis

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. - Evan Esar

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours. - Orison Swett Marden

A nation that does not stand for its children does not stand for anything and will not stand tall in the future. - Marian W Edelman

The fundamental defect of fathers, in our competitive society, is that they want their children to be a credit to them. - Bertrand Russell

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash