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He Did It

Tracking down the kitchen culprits

He Did It thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Children make your life important. - Erma Bombeck

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration. - Jon Stewart

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

Inspiration and genius - one and the same. - Victor Hugo

It takes an entire village to raise a child. - African Proverb

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

The best way to make children is to make them happy. - Oscar Wilde

The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day. - John Milton

For when a child is born the mother also is born again. - Gilbert Parker

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. - Maya Angelou

A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be. - Carol Coats

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

Children are paparazzi. They take your picture when you don't want them to. - Jamie Lee Curtis

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

If you're going to write a book on how to raise children, do it before you have them. - Bob McLaren

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

Children are not a distraction for more important work. They are the most important work. - C S Lewis

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. - Evan Esar

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours. - Orison Swett Marden

A nation that does not stand for its children does not stand for anything and will not stand tall in the future. - Marian W Edelman

The fundamental defect of fathers, in our competitive society, is that they want their children to be a credit to them. - Bertrand Russell

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Five Firm Brakes Tire

Dark Side Bus Stop

Only in Las Vegas

Sailing Duck

Redneck Stairs

Computer Challenged

1st Rolex

Tennis Plant

Florida Moves Out Of Hurricane Zone

Small Bills

Denmark Traffic Signals

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Game Car

Overloaded Mailbox

Redneck Phone

Enjoy Fresh Air

Bread Board

Snaccident

Mini Bar

Frisbee Stopper

Redneck Sushi

Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert