#1 humor site on the 'net

My Other Plane

Donald Trump's replacement for Air Force One

My Other Plane thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Breathing dreams like air. - F Scott Fitzgerald

Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. - Lord Kelvin

As the velocity of air increases, its pressure decreases. - Daniel Bernoulli

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Disappointments are to the soul what thunderstorms are to the air. - Johann C. F. von Schiller

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room. - Ilona Andrews

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris. - Oscar Wilde

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Nothing can move a man who is paid by the hour; how sweet the flight of time seems to his calm mind. - Charles D Warner

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Idealism is like a castle in the air if it is not based on a solid foundation of social and political realism. - Claude McKay

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. - George Burns

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians,
and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. - Groucho Marx

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau

The best cookies of all in the world are the ones my daughter Sally makes. They come out all uniform with nice little air holes. - Willard Scott

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

Southwest Airlines is successful because the company understands it's a customer service company. It also happens to be an airline. - Harvey Mackay

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

If you're wanting something salty, do air-popped popcorn. That, to me, would be a healthier choice than having any kind of fried chip. - Bob Harper

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people. - Franklin D Roosevelt

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey


High Tensile Snow

Target Entry

Squirrel Feeder Trap

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Florida Sewer Rat

Crane Drop

Special Touch

Muscle Control

Selfie Stuck

Organic Compromise

Crab Collection

Basketball Car

Apathy Mountain

Ready To Leave

Portable Samurai

CPU Marshmallows

Hokey Pokey Clinic

Brazil Banisters

VW Treehouse

Crocodile Fall

Hoodie Onesy

BUSker

Monsoon TV

Worked For Them