Nice Try, China

Glass: Chinese marijuana - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A poet can survive everything but a misprint. - Oscar Wilde

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

When the news is scary, you should look for the helpers. - Fred Rogers

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. - Albert Einstein

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

Lord Birkenhead is very clever but sometimes his brains go to his head. - Margot Asquith

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Wise Husband: One who buys his wife such fine china she won't trust him to wash the dishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought. - Robert Breault

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he. - Karl Kraus

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Why don't you put that in the headline: "He Only Did Three With Doris!" Set a lot of people straight. - Rock Hudson

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe