#1 humor site on the 'net

Nice Try, China

Heavy Dtuy Wrench

Nice Try, China thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Wrenching products in the global marketplace

QuotaBills
Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

Clever men are good, but they are not the best. - Thomas Carlyle

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. - Unknown

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Parallel Parking Car

Road To Nowhere

Hobbit Love

Vibrations

On Short Notice

Octopi

Big Birthday Surprise

Cliff Side Camping

Childhood Obesity

Meccano Shoe

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

OCD Floor Tiles

Wedding Cake for Men

Baby Birth

Chicken Roost

Magnetic Personality

Cold Corners

Swiss Minigun

Underwater Plane

Fire Destroyed

Groj Sale

You May Pet Me

Whatever Time

Cutting Off Board