Nice Try, China

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

None loves the messenger who brings bad news. - Sophocles

Clever men are good, but they are not the best. - Thomas Carlyle

No news is good news; no journalists is even better. - Nicolas Bentley

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. - Unknown

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. - Gloria Borger

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell

A clever person turns great troubles into little ones and little ones into none at all. - Chinese proverb

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Why don't you put that in the headline: "He Only Did Three With Doris!" Set a lot of people straight. - Rock Hudson

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe