Nice Try, China

Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

Clever men are good, but they are not the best. - Thomas Carlyle

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. - Unknown

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson