QuotaBillsBirth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker
Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins
Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus
Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard
Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher
Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw
Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb
A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer
I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
Jockey: What a dentist uses when you won't open your mouth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense. - Beau M
It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
Barium: 1. What Doctors do when treatment fails; 2. What you do when CPR fails. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill
The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley
Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease. - William Osler
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller
Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine
I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman
You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen
Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. - Rodney Dangerfield
With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. - Joanna Lumley
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
The art of healing comes from nature, not from the physician. Therefore the physician must start from nature, with an open mind. - Paracelsus
A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man - he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles
When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale
Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal.
- Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler
When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville