QuotaBillsLawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb
I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern
For when a child is born the mother also is born again. - Gilbert Parker
You see much more of your children once they leave home. - Lucille Ball
He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson
Give a little love to a child, and you get a great deal back. - John Ruskin
A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault
As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld
No matter how bad a child is, he is still good for a tax deduction. - American Proverb
Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna
Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work. - Chuck Close
Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. - William Feather
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin
As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen
Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. - Doug Larson
There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow
If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault
What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay
I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. - Sigmund Freud
No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell
I think of inspiration as desire infused with spirit and topped with an almost reckless optimism. - Fred White
Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. - Bradley Miller
One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman
The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. - P J O'Rourke
Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown
One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain
There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark
Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system. - Quentin Crewe
A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho
Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. - Alex Haley
It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. - Ann Landers
I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school. - Unknown
Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou
Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller
If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah