#1 humor site on the 'net

Santa Convention

Jolly meal enjoyed by bearded men

Santa Convention thanks to Lisa Bromley

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat? - Dr Gonzo

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. - Garth Brooks

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. - Ruth Ann Schabacker

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

An individual starts off by facing his problem with resolution, but a convention saves the resolution for the end. - Unknown

Technology is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. - Carrie Snow

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there! - Minnie Pearl

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

A convention is a splendid place to study human nature. Man in a crowd is quite a different creature than man acting alone. - William Jennings Bryan

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Conventional people are roused to fury by departure from convention, largely because they regard such departure as a criticism of themselves. - Bertrand Russell

Pride causes us to use our gifts as though they came from ourselves, not benefits received from God, and to usurp our benefactor's glory. - Bernard of Clairvaux

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear


Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1

Zamboni Date

Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called