#1 humor site on the 'net

Scary Ice Cream

Please do not tap on glass

Scary Ice Cream thanks to Shannon Tait

QuotaBills
I hid myself in food. - Gordon Ramsay

Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Cake is the answer, no matter the question. - Unknown

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

The Pope, I hope, can only be scared by God. - Donald Trump

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

Don't pick at your food. It won't heal. - Hawkeye Pierce

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it. - Neil Gaiman

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Irish Proverb

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

The cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I think about food literally all day every day. It's a thing. - Taylor Swift

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

The key to making money in stocks is not to get scared out of them. - Peter Lynch

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances. - Julie Sorel

We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

That's the kind of thing people always thinking. They always got to see some sort of scary thing in everything. - S.D. Crockett

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Nintendo Guitar

Road Detour

Jerushalom

Hot Seat

LippoPotumus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Senior's Golf Cart

Throwaway Sport Paper

Blonde Geometry Student

Ping Wrong

Tree House

Skull Violins

Finger Phone

Family Bike

Airless See-Through Tires

Aussie Motorcycle

Statue Selfie

Bacon Sandwich

Elephant Hand

Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Dragon Buoy

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

Bird Melons

Local Crabs