Shear Agony

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Honeycomb: Hair styling tool used by bees - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

A hair in the head is worth two in the brush. - Oliver Herford

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

He doesn't dye his hair, he's just prematurely orange. - Gerald Ford

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. - Maya Angelou

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

It is the duty of a good shepherd to shear his flock, not flay them. - Tiberius

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman

I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamed that I was reading on, so I awoke from sheer boredom. - Heinrich Neine

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro