Shear Agony

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

A hair in the head is worth two in the brush. - Oliver Herford

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

It is the duty of a good shepherd to shear his flock, not flay them. - Tiberius

It is sheer laziness not compressing thought into a reasonable space. - Winston Churchill

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

Most stress is caused by people who overestimate the importance of their problems. - Michael LeBoeuf

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

If you wear a wig, everybody notices. But if you then dye the wig, people notice the dye. - Andy Warhol

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman

I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamed that I was reading on, so I awoke from sheer boredom. - Heinrich Neine

Our oldest son was trying to find himself for about a year. Then one day he got a haircut, and found himself. - Phil Callaway

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

You really just want to know that somebody loves you for you. Sometimes you feel like an ATM machine with a wig on it. - Mariah Carey

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro