#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas 4 Months Apart

French Street under seige

Texas 4 Months Apart thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Floods and diseases and pestillentaries - Archie Bunker

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing;
Our helper He,
amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. - Martin Luther

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

Today's weather forecast: heavy showers of blessings, strong wings to blow your worries away, followed by warm hugs and kisses to put smiles on your face. - Unknown

The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams

An Irishman will always soften bad news, so that a major coronary is no more than 'a bad turn' and a near hurricane that leaves thousands homeless is 'good drying weather'. - Hugh Leonard


Hokey Pokey Clinic

Brazil Banisters

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

VW Treehouse

Crocodile Fall

Hoodie Onesy

BUSker

Monsoon TV

Worked For Them

Colon Celery

Hot Tub Cover

Piano Dress

Parking Guide

Apology to Potential Criminals

Before Morning Coffee

Sons Of Arthritis

Challenge Accepted

Subway Camouflage

In Stitches

Great White

Can I Lick It

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Velociraptor Defined

Redneck Muffler Repair