#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas 4 Months Apart

French Street under seige

Texas 4 Months Apart thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Floods and diseases and pestillentaries - Archie Bunker

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. - Nicolas Chamfort

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing;
Our helper He,
amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. - Martin Luther

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

Today's weather forecast: heavy showers of blessings, strong wings to blow your worries away, followed by warm hugs and kisses to put smiles on your face. - Unknown

The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams

The ancient feud between cat and dog is not forgotten in the north, for the Lynx is the deadly foe of the Fox and habitually kills it when there is soft snow and scarcity of easier prey. - Ernest T. Seton

An Irishman will always soften bad news, so that a major coronary is no more than 'a bad turn' and a near hurricane that leaves thousands homeless is 'good drying weather'. - Hugh Leonard


Winter Sucks

Chainsaw Art

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Spot the Hidden Cell Tower

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Snow Is Coming

Spot The Clock

Gay Football

Icy Grip Of Winter

Find The Dogs

Fractal Pattern River

Canadian Whiskey

COLD Fairbanks

Snow Wall

Manitoba Kickstand

Puzzle Ad

Winter Driving in Canada

Coffee Morning

Slide-n-Freeze

Slip Sliding Away

Canadian Smart Car

Winter SOS

East Coast Winter Graffiti

Handstand Snowman