#1 humor site on the 'net

Two Foot Steaks

Extremely rare sneakers

Two Foot Steaks thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Dinner is poured. - WC Fields

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

I'm having an old friend for dinner. - The Silence of the Lambs

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner. - H.S. Leigh

My favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations. - Unknown

He that waits upon fortune is never sure of a dinner. - Benjamin Franklin

Out for lunch. If not back by five, out for dinner also. - Unknown

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Electroplate: What atomic scientists eat their dinner from - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We're eating dinner soon. Don't fill up on homework. - Alex Baze

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Be prompt and you dine alone. - Gerald Barzan

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations. - Oscar Wilde

Just because someone has fancy sneakers doesn't mean they can run faster. - Jon Bon Jovi

Dinner and a movie? Forget that. I'd rather have a picnic and a waterfall. - Amanda Grace

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste. - Wes Smith

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians, except for the occasional mountain lion steak. - Ted Nugent

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties. - Oscar Wilde

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher. - Thomas Henry Huxley


Mask Not Your Country

Sun Protection

Multi-Motor Motorcycle

Your In America

Mexican Repair Shop

You're CuTe

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Wake Up Alarm

Mr. Dressup II

Gangsta

Tiring Tire

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

Transmission Line Parallel Bars

Water Skiing in Russia

Why Men Shouldn't Take Messages

Spot the Snow Leopard

Open Too Long

Rap Is Like Scissors

Ball Bait

Deluxe Peanut Butter Jam Sandwich

Topping The Charts

Ring Leader

Edible Rubik's Cube

If Apple Made A Car