Under Control

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deceitful: Infant who needs changing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints. - Unknown

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

A protective tariff is a typical conspiracy in restraint of trade. - Thorstein Veblen

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

There is always a limit to self-indulgence, but none to self-restraint. - M. K. Gandhi

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

In Green Bay, Wisconsin, ten bowling shirts are considered a great wardrobe. - Greg Koch

Tattoos - it's like wearing an Ed Hardy shirt for the rest of your life. - Russell Peters

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. - Jane Goodall

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer. - Andy Warhol

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

Tarry a moment to watch the chaos of a playground, crayola-colored shirts of running children, all trying out their wings. - Dr. SunWolf

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds