Under Control

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Deceitful: Infant who needs changing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unclaimed Baby Sheep: No man's lamb - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Howling Success: The baby that gets picked up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints. - Unknown

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

A protective tariff is a typical conspiracy in restraint of trade. - Thorstein Veblen

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Kidnapping: The short snatches of rest a parent gets when baby sleeps - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Play for the name on the front of the shirt and they'll remember the name on the back. - Unknown

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds