Vacation Time For Kids

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Here's looking at you, kid. - Casablanca

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Great shot kid, that was one in a million. - Han Solo

We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium

The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole

Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

Arpeggio: The story book kid with the big nose that grows - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation. - Mark Twain

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

If Autocorrect was a person I would never go on a vacation with it. - Paula Pell

Jackpot: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Chid: A young person who does not wish to be referred to as a child or a kid - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon. - Brian P. Cleary

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed. - Don Rickles

Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: I'm with you kid, let's go. - Maya Angelou

When I was a kid, I used to think pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. - Shane Koyczan

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Feature Creep: 1. The bloating of software with too many features; 2. A nasty software developer. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah