Where I Live

Marry money. - Max Shulman

God gave me my money. - John D Rockefeller

A fool and her money are soon courted. - Helen Rowland

Budget: a way of going broke methodically. - Groucho Marx

That's the thing that broke the straw. - Archie Bunker

Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. - Ted Turner

Yacht: a floating box you throw money into. - Unknown

I find all this money a considerable burden. - J Paul Getty

A poet can survive everything but a misprint. - Oscar Wilde

Prospering doesn't have to do with money. - Joel Osteen

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. - Samuel Butler

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance. - Claus Moser

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

Fidelity bought with money can be overcome by money. - Seneca

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

A father carries pictures where his money used to be. - Steve Martin

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain

A grandfather carries pictures where his money used to be. - Joe-kster

When you ain't got no money, you gotta get an attitude. - Richard Pryor

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. - J Paul Getty

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

The key to making money in stocks is not to get scared out of them. - Peter Lynch

Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money. - Alexandre Dumas

Who marries for love without money has merry nights and sorry days. - Scottish Proverb

The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets. - John D Rockefeller

A billion here, a billion there - pretty soon it adds up to real money. - Everett Dirksen

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy. - Miles Kington

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. - H L Mencken

Business, that's easily defined - it's other people's money. - Peter F Drucker

Money can't buy you friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. - Spike Milligan

Better one line that will survive the author than a hundred books outlived. - Unknown

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. - Mark Twain

Money can't buy happiness, but it helps you look for it in more places. - Milton Berle

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. - Doug Larson

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

Success breeds complacency. Complacency breeds failure. Only the paranoid survive. - Andy Grove

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. - Will Rogers

Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money and power and influence. - Henry Chester

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. - Bob Hope

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it. - Jay Leno

They say love is more important than money. Have you tried paying your bills with a hug? - Dave Chapelle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. - William Glasser

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. - H L Mencken

Beware of those who would pay you lip service but refuse to put their money where their mouths are. - Faydra D. Fields

It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive, but those who can best manage change. - Charles Darwin

When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money. - Kin Hubbard

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have. - Ernest Haskins

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

Why does not the Pope build St. Peter's with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers? - Martin Luther

I don't make deals for the money. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. - Donald Trump

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

My family didn't have a lot of money, and I'm grateful for that. Money is the longest route to happiness. - Evangeline Lilly

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. - Andy Borowitz

Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Smith

It's not about money or connections. It's the willingness to outwork and outlearn everyone when it comes to your business. - Mark Cuban

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan

No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive. - Unknown

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump