#1 humor site on the 'net

Which Is Bigger?

Choosing between me and the universe

Which Is Bigger? thanks to Howard Chapman

QuotaBills
I want to put a ding in the universe. - Steve Jobs

I've been big ever since I was little. - William Perry

VR and AR are going to be a really big deal. - Mark Zuckerberg

You have to think anyway, so why not think big? - Donald Trump

I am big! It's the pictures that got small. - Sunset Boulevard

It doesn't take a very big person to carry a grudge. - Unknown

Big changes in our lives are more or less a second chance. - Harrison Ford

It's always the small pieces that make the big picture. - Unknown

I'm just the smallest dot in a big map of human history. - Ben Casnocha

If the client moans and sighs,
Make his logo twice the size. - John Trench

I didn't have any ambition to produce big mainstream popcorn movies. - Jodie Foster

The only point in making money is, you can tell some big shot where to go. - Humphrey Bogart

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

My parents are very good examples of Christians. They are big on forgiveness. - James Acaster

I am not worried about the deficit. It's big enough to take care of itself. - Ronald Reagan

It's the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen. - John Wooden

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

There's a big overlap with the people you meet at the fantasy and science fiction cons. - Fred Saberhagen

I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama

An author in his book must be like God in the universe: present everywhere and visible nowhere. - Gustave Flaubert

I really want to play Princess Leia. Stick some big pastries on my head. Now that would be interesting! - Ewan McGregor

Our ideas, like orange-plants, spread out in proportion to the size of the box which imprisons the roots. - Edward Bulwer Lytton

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. - David Lloyd George

My goal is simple. It is complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all. - Stephen Hawking

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

Teamwork makes the dream work, but a vision becomes a nightmare when the leader has a big dream and a bad team. - John C Maxwell

Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game. - Donald Trump

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

Fisherman: A sportsman, who sometimes catches a big fish by patience, sometimes by luck, but most often by the tale - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is well to remember that the entire population of the universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others. - John A Holmes

The really wonderful thing that happened to me when I was in space was this feeling of belonging to the entire universe. - Mae Jemison

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

If you want small changes in your life, work on your attitude. But if you want big and primary changes, work on your paradigm. - Stephen Covey

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai

If I'm ever stuck on a respirator or a life support system, I definitely want to be unplugged, but not until I'm down to a size eight. - Henriette Mantel

People who don't take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. - Peter F Drucker

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. - George Carlin

In small towns as well as large, good people outnumber bad people by 100 to 1. In big towns the 100 are nervous. But in small towns, it's the one. - Paul Harvey


Crowd Surfing - Expert Level

Dream The Impossible

When Life Gets You Down

Redneck Estate Sale

How To Tweet Others

Nutella Soother

Autumn Camouflage

Go Play Outside

Be Someone

Arkansas Divorce Application

Three Finger Carrot

Braided Horse Tail

Owl Glove

Far North Cable Guys

Openish Hours

Lead Sled Dog

Pet Food Tester

Gold Bar Carrot Cake

Looking For A Mate

Food For Thought

Kanye Twitty

Skull Tentacles

Ukrainian Cattle Car

CreepEye