#1 humor site on the 'net

With This Ring

Mechanic with an expanding grip on wedding vows

With This Ring thanks to Wayne Nowazek

One size fits all, throughout your entire life

“With this ring I thee wed, with my auto body I thee worship, and with all my worldly hose clamps and goods I thee endow.”

QuotaBills
Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Adorable: What you ring when you go visiting. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Veiled Threat: When your girlfriend hints at a wedding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson


Child's Motorcycle Helmet

Montana Mountain Bike

Sealtastic

Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox