#1 humor site on the 'net

With This Ring

Mechanic with an expanding grip on wedding vows

With This Ring thanks to Wayne Nowazek

One size fits all, throughout your entire life

“With this ring I thee wed, with my auto body I thee worship, and with all my worldly hose clamps and goods I thee endow.”

QuotaBills
Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


Cafe Cappuccino

Redneck Car Swing

Need A Lifeguard?

Newfie Parkin' Only

What Are Friends For?

Piano Mover

Pumpkin Helmet

TP For Those With Money To Throw Away

Redneck Mailbox

Dog O'Lanterns

Canvas Rest Break

2 Republicans And A Truck

Corona Isolation

Cat Cookie

Worn Brakes

Apprentice Auto Body Shop

Moving Level Pro

Redneck Muffler Repair

Eggsellent Bike

Prairie Bear

Clinton Greeting

Halloween Flashers

Saying Pun

Redneck Blinds