#1 humor site on the 'net

Wurst Wi-Fi

Internet protocol in a German kitchen

Wurst Wi-Fi thanks to Dave Loewen

QuotaBills
A pun is the lowest form of wit. - John Dennis

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

Some German words are so long that they have perspective. - Mark Twain

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Mac Supports Windows

Me First!

Latest Ukrainian Model

Chocolate Bath

Becoming A Cop

Handicap Swing

Lawn Aeration

Soup Of The Day

Black Eye

Teen Shoe

He Wants In

Who's Watching Whom?

Wine Glass Chair

Flight Change

No Feeding

How It's Done

Toad Selfie

Daily Rain Gauge

RSVP

France-Is Bacon

Do Not Touch Sign

Giant Step For Mankind

SirLoin

On This Site in 1897