#1 humor site on the 'net

Carpenter Unicycle

Wooden you love to ride this wheel-e good idea!

Carpenter Unicycle thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Follow the grain in your own wood. - Howard Thurman

Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. - Steven Wright

Newly Hatched Termites: Babes in the wood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tweezers: A tool for removing wood splinters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chop your own wood, and it will warm you twice. - Henry Ford

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Dialogue: Changing the colour of a piece of wood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whittle By Whittle: How to carve a statue out of wood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. - Harrison Ford

I can look at the knot in a piece of wood until it frightens me. - William Blake

Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle I have hope for the human race. - H G Wells

Xylophonist: A superstitious person who goes around knocking on wood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Carpenter: 1. A guy who nails down his agreement; 2. A shelf made man. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The mind is not a vessel that needs filling but wood that needs igniting. - Plutarch

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. - David Perry

Athlete: A dignified bunch of muscles, unable to split wood or sift ashes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. - Albert Einstein

Business is like riding a bicycle. Either you keep moving or you fall down. - John D. Wright

Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one. - Sam Rayburn

As the sculptor devotes himself to wood and stone, I would devote myself to my soul. - Toyohiko Kagawa

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you plan to stop pedaling. - Claude Pepper

From such crooked wood as that which man is made of, nothing straight can be fashioned. - Immanuel Kant

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle. - Steven Wright

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. - Robert Frost

Wood: That remarkable material which burns so easily in a forest and with such difficulty in a fireplace - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett

If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton

People are often quite surprised by the sport and leisure activities practised by the blind. For example, tandem cycling is very popular. - Andrea Bocelli

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some primal termite knocked on wood,
And tasted it, and found it good;
That is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today. - Ogden Nash

I'm always tinkering with something - suddenly I'll think I can work with wood, but then I'll realize I can't, so I go back to sewing. - Melissa McCarthy


Redneck Farmer

McDonalds in South America

Stealth Snake

Camouflage Pro

Beard Fashion

Playground Drivers

In Step Horse

Finger Olympics

Cow Licks

Dog Distress

Mate Attraction

Dark Room

Lineup For Dinner

Redneck Furnace

Traffic Sign Art

A Dog's Worst Nightmare

Garage Door Art

Kellogg's Fire

Teenage Independence

Parasite Trivia

Bobslide Event

Scooter Races

Bull Squirrel

Wife Consumption