#1 humor site on the 'net

Chicken Roost

The sky has fallen!

Chicken Roost thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deviled Eggs: What wicked chickens lay - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing. - Muhammad Ali

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell


CardboardZilla

Indian Writing

Ancient Shiloh

1938 Cost Of Living

Black Olives Matter

Peckish

Awesome 'P' Door

Snake Shortener

Scientific Driving Test

Fire Engine

First Impressions

On Its Last Legs

Fire Truck

Living In A Bubble

Underwater Smoking

Burger Sale

PLZSTOP

Fawn Of You

Baby's Off Day

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

Swimming in the Dead Sea

Why Wear A Safety Helmet?

It's Making This Weird Noise

Awkward