#1 humor site on the 'net

E. coli

Re-calling Swiss Ricola cough drops

E. coli thanks to Tim Smith

QuotaBills
A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger. - Steven Wright

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than a healthy, wise old man. - Lin Yutang

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

I worry about scientists discovering someday that lettuce has been fattening all along. - Erma Bombeck

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy for those closest to you. - Mr Spock

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill


Family Exercise

Bulge That All Women Love

Hand Drawn

Learn To Fly

Rosella Ring

Orthodox Weapon

Antler Car

Wicked Stawm

Dementia Relations

Church Karma

The End in Canada

Sign Slippage

Obedient Wives

Symptoms of Laziness

Hog Hunter

Sea Horse

Impossible Object

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Blinker Fluid

Dutch Rollerblades

Goat Tree

Mind The Pedestrians

Trapped in the 5th Dimension

Job Retraining