#1 humor site on the 'net

Fake News

And they should know...

Fake News thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

Anything that consoles is fake. - Iris Murdoch

Literature is news that stays news. - Ezra Pound

Sympathy is a crutch. Never fake a limp. - Unknown

None loves the messenger who brings bad news. - Sophocles

When everything gets answered, it's fake. - Sean Penn

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

How can I tell if humility is genuine or fake? - David J. Bobb

The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest. - Henry David Thoreau

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

All the real things in Russia are done in the villages. - Ernest Poole

Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. - Winston Churchill

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Pound for pound, the moose is the leanest ruminant on earth. - Daniel M Ortberg

In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete. - Yakov Smirnoff

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - George Burns

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you. - Yakov Smirnoff

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

I pranced around the room like a blind moose, but what I lacked in grace I made up for in effort. - Kiera Cass

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

You know what they say in Hollywood - the most important thing is being sincere, even if you have to fake it. - Cesar Romero

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self. - Millicent Fenwick

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt

UNinvolved

Plane Oops!

Manitoba Home Security System

Outdoor Pool

Working From Home

Snowbound Train

Smirnoff Women

Redneck Dent Repair

Cocktail Shirt

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Boy George or Boy Gorge?