Fake News

No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

Sympathy is a crutch. Never fake a limp. - Unknown

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. - Sarah J. Parker

None loves the messenger who brings bad news. - Sophocles

When everything gets answered, it's fake. - Sean Penn

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

How can I tell if humility is genuine or fake? - David J. Bobb

All new news is old news happening to new people. - Malcolm Muggeridge

That isn't the plural of moose. It's moosi. - Mikey Way

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection. - Drake Edwards

All the real things in Russia are done in the villages. - Ernest Poole

When the news is scary, you should look for the helpers. - Fred Rogers

Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. - Winston Churchill

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back. - Bob Hope

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. - Will Rogers

Pound for pound, the moose is the leanest ruminant on earth. - Daniel M Ortberg

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs

For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. - Gloria Borger

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you. - Yakov Smirnoff

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

In the beginning was the Lie and the Lie was made news and dwelt among us, graceless and false. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Sometimes an alien would stand with a moose, not because of solidarity, but because of accidentally doing it. - Tao Lin

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there. - Yakov Smirnoff

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash