Fake News

No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

Literature is news that stays news. - Ezra Pound

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. - Sarah J. Parker

None loves the messenger who brings bad news. - Sophocles

When everything gets answered, it's fake. - Sean Penn

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

That isn't the plural of moose. It's moosi. - Mikey Way

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection. - Drake Edwards

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

All the real things in Russia are done in the villages. - Ernest Poole

Not all the news that's fit to print is fit to read. - Unknown

Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. - Winston Churchill

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect. - Dylan Moran

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you. - Yakov Smirnoff

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx

I think Kazan is Russia's sportiest city after Moscow, leaving all the others far behind. - Marat Safin

I pranced around the room like a blind moose, but what I lacked in grace I made up for in effort. - Kiera Cass

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

You know what they say in Hollywood - the most important thing is being sincere, even if you have to fake it. - Cesar Romero

Sometimes an alien would stand with a moose, not because of solidarity, but because of accidentally doing it. - Tao Lin

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to 'prove their love' like a moose needs a hat rack. - Abigail VanBuren

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there. - Yakov Smirnoff

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump