Fake News

Sympathy is a crutch. Never fake a limp. - Unknown

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

None loves the messenger who brings bad news. - Sophocles

When everything gets answered, it's fake. - Sean Penn

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

How can I tell if humility is genuine or fake? - David J. Bobb

All new news is old news happening to new people. - Malcolm Muggeridge

No news is good news; no journalists is even better. - Nicolas Bentley

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection. - Drake Edwards

Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. - Winston Churchill

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back. - Bob Hope

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Pound for pound, the moose is the leanest ruminant on earth. - Daniel M Ortberg

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect. - Dylan Moran

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

If you don't know how great this country is, I know someone who does; Russia. - Robert Frost

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx

I think Kazan is Russia's sportiest city after Moscow, leaving all the others far behind. - Marat Safin

In the beginning was the Lie and the Lie was made news and dwelt among us, graceless and false. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. - Unknown

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to 'prove their love' like a moose needs a hat rack. - Abigail VanBuren

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff