#1 humor site on the 'net

Feetloaf

New recipe for hamburger and onions

Feetloaf thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

I don't eat sushi, but I eat cooked meat. - Drake Bell

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

I never practice my guitar... from time to time I just open the case and throw in a piece of raw meat. - Wes Montgomery

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

A good plate of sushi after an opening helps to soothe that post-opening blues - especially since you feel like raw meat yourself. - Jim Drain

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet. - George Foreman

Personal columnists are jackals and no jackal has been known to live on grass once he had learned about meat - no matter who killed the meat for him. - Ernest Hemingway

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Can I Lick It

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Velociraptor Defined

Redneck Muffler Repair

Drama Queen Diary

He Looks Just Like His Father!

Happy Snow Car

Sand Strap Experience

Redneck Calf Feeder

BaCoN T-Shirt

Go Winterized

Car Igloo

Hen Pecked

It's Movie Time

In The Dog House

Diaper Change

Palestinian Security Check

Wurst-Case Scenario

High-Rise Inifinity Pool

Winter Kayaking

Balanced Family Life

Closed Ahead

Forgettable Fishing Trips