#1 humor site on the 'net

Good Woman Wanted

'Must Haves' include airplane and hangar

Good Woman Wanted thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Woman, the most dangerous of playthings. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

The shell must break before the bird can fly. - Unknown

Never argue with a woman, a winner, or a weapon. - Frank Dane

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. - Will Rogers

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. - Erma Bombeck

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde

The most terrifying thing any woman can say to me is, 'Notice anything different?' - Mike Vanatta

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity. - G K Chesterton

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy

I don't know about flying, but sometimes it feels like I have these little wings on my feet. - Michael Jordan

Learn to adapt like a bird. We can only dream of flying, but the bird has already grown her wings. - Debasish Mridha

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. - Oscar Wilde

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie


Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour

Redneck GPS

Snow Receiver

Book Perspective

Why Stand In Line?

How Twins Are Made

Ups and Downs

Irish Flu Shots

Snake Circle

Romantic Accident

Winter Mirror

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Abbey Road Joe-kster and Bernie

Straws

Chernobyl Fish

Hard Working Cop

Mechanic's Work Table

Canadian Tennis

Swimsuit Police

Waiting For The Perfect Man

Dutch Cowboy

Ship Tow