Good Woman Wanted

Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Owning a drone does not a pilot make. - Alex Morritt

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

It's opener there in the wide open air. - Dr. Seuss

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal. - Steve Rubenstein

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. - Mark Twain

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. - James Stephens

I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women. - Queen Christina of Sweden

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. - Erma Bombeck

Matt would be fantastic for New York if the Jets were lucky enough to get him. - Donald Trump

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson