Good Woman Wanted

I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

There is no flying without wings. - French Proverb

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

Matt would be fantastic for New York if the Jets were lucky enough to get him. - Donald Trump

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

Enthusiasm is a vital element toward the individual success of every man or woman. - Conrad Hilton

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people. - Franklin D Roosevelt

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin