#1 humor site on the 'net

Happy Whatever

Trying hard to not offend anyone this holiday season

Happy Whatever thanks to Chris Kane

A politically correct New Years

QuotaBills
Whatever you can, count. - Sir Francis Bacon

Whatever sprinkles your donut. - Unknown

Whatever it is, I'm against it. - Groucho Marx

I'm for whatever gets you through the night. - Frank Sinatra

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it. - Neil Gaiman

Whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well. - Lord Chesterfield

Three wishes - no substitutes, exchanges or refunds. - Robin Williams

Whatever the world finds pleasing, is but a brief dream. - Petrarch

Things don't change, but by and by our wishes change. - Marcel Proust

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Everyone believes very easily whatever he fears or desires. - Jean de La Fontaine

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

The most important thing is to be whatever you are without shame. - Rod Steiger

Whatever you do, do it with intelligence, and keep the end in view. - Thomas á Kempis

Needless to say, the president is correct. Whatever it was he said. - Donald Rumsfeld

Plenty of people wish to become devout, but no one wishes to be humble. - Joseph Addison

The best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake. - Aristotle

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention. - Jim Rohn

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too. - Pablo Neruda

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you. - Unknown

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The power is detested, and miserable the life, of him who wishes to be feared rather than to be loved. - Cornelius Nepos

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid of anything. Whatever you have been, you are mine now. I can hold you. - Peter S. Beagle

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Whatever happened to a sense of idealism and embracing an idea that will help people and, in this case, children? - Rod Blagojevich

In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us. - Flora Edwards

Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating. - Luciano Pavarotti

Whatever moisture is left in the popcorn when it gets from harvest to bag to your popper is what's going to determine how well the corn pops. - Ken Kercheval

A life without adventure is likely to be unsatisfying, but a life in which adventure is allowed to take whatever form it will is sure to be short. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


He Looks Just Like His Father!

Happy Snow Car

Sand Strap Experience

Redneck Calf Feeder

BaCoN T-Shirt

Go Winterized

Car Igloo

Hen Pecked

It's Movie Time

In The Dog House

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Diaper Change

Palestinian Security Check

Wurst-Case Scenario

High-Rise Inifinity Pool

Winter Kayaking

Balanced Family Life

Closed Ahead

Forgettable Fishing Trips

I've Got Your Back

Dr Pepper Financing

Wine Therapy

Weakest Part

Cycle Circles