Home Invasion Kit
Liberal way to defend your home
A liberal friend asked me what I thought he might need in order to defend his home and family from home invasion. I suggested a couple of clips, a 9mm, and a box of shells. A few days later he sent me this picture and asked me how to make it all work.
QuotaBillsIf you've got a talent, protect it. - Jim Carrey
It is not death that alarms me, but dying. - Michel De Montaigne
The best defense against logic is ignorance. - Blaise Pascal
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. - Oliver Goldsmith
Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown
Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.
I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people. - Mitch Hedberg
Denial is a useful defense mechanism until it's not. - Rosalind Kaplan
A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin
A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce
You used so much oil the U.S. is trying to invade the plate. - Gordon Ramsay
The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith
He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp
Idealism, alas, does not protect one from ignorance, dogmatism, and foolishness. - Sidney Hook
Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller
I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti
Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis
Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. - Jeanne Moreau
You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. - Jonathan S Foer
When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire
Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles
The act of defending any of the cardinal virtues has today ll the exhilaration of a vice. - G K Chesterton
A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield
It is easier for a woman to defend her virtue against men than her reputation against women. - French Proverb
I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. - Sigmund Freud
As to lawyers, their profession is supported by the indiscriminate defense of right and wrong. - Junius
There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. - Thomas W. Higginson
Humour is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them. - Lewis Mumford
Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow
Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes
You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain
Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner
Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. - Ambrose Bierce
It might be pardonable to refuse to defend some men, but to defend them negligently is nothing short of criminal. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer
In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama
Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden