#1 humor site on the 'net

Home Invasion Kit

Liberal way to defend your home

A liberal friend asked me what I thought he might need in order to defend his home and family from home invasion. I suggested a couple of clips, a 9mm, and a box of shells. A few days later he sent me this picture and asked me how to make it all work.
Home Invasion Kit thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
If you've got a talent, protect it. - Jim Carrey

It is not death that alarms me, but dying. - Michel De Montaigne

The best defense against logic is ignorance. - Blaise Pascal

Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. - Oliver Goldsmith

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people. - Mitch Hedberg

Denial is a useful defense mechanism until it's not. - Rosalind Kaplan

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

You used so much oil the U.S. is trying to invade the plate. - Gordon Ramsay

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

Idealism, alas, does not protect one from ignorance, dogmatism, and foolishness. - Sidney Hook

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. - Jeanne Moreau

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. - Jonathan S Foer

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

The act of defending any of the cardinal virtues has today ll the exhilaration of a vice. - G K Chesterton

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

It is easier for a woman to defend her virtue against men than her reputation against women. - French Proverb

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. - Sigmund Freud

As to lawyers, their profession is supported by the indiscriminate defense of right and wrong. - Junius

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. - Thomas W. Higginson

Humour is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them. - Lewis Mumford

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. - Ambrose Bierce

It might be pardonable to refuse to defend some men, but to defend them negligently is nothing short of criminal. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden


One

Amish Smart Car

This Rocks

Arch Support

Tired Of Snow

Drowning Danger in the Dead Sea

World Peas

Tired Truck

Harmacy

Redneck Cotter Pin

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Guitar Scooter

1947 X-ray Machine

Grouchy German

Knock Hard

Economy Flight Plan

Canadian Car Crash

Recipe Holder

Seuss Army Knife

Dustpan Waterfall

Pita Pan

Drum Kit Chandelier

TP Roll Art

Shark Circles