In Stitches

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Gags die, humor doesn't. - Jack Benny

Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

Humor comes from self-confidence. - Rita Mae Brown

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

Puns are a form of humor with words. - Guillermo C. Infante

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

Our humor turns our anger into a fine art. - Mary Kay Blakely

Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb

When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb

A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

Humor is one of the best ingredients of survival. - Aung San Suu Kyi

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. - Larry Gelbart

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks

Humour is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. - James Thurber

Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. - Doug Larson

The next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. - Frank A. Clark

Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society. - William M Thackeray

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it. - Langston Hughes

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

Bad humour is an evasion of reality; good humour is an acceptance of it. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Humour and irony include tragedy; they're two sides of the same coin. - Maurizio Cattelan

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician. - Martin H. Fischer

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge. - George Herbert

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing. - Allen Klein

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

I've learned to have a sense of humor about myself. Lord knows everyone else does! - Debbie Gibson

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? - Bob Hope

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. - Langston Hughes

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts. - Sarah Silverman

I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor. - Christopher Hitchens

Transparency, honesty, kindness, good stewardship, even humor, work in businesses at all times. - John Gerzema

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. - Thomas W. Higginson

Companies need to lighten up and take themselves less seriously. They need to get a sense of humor. - Unknown

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Humour is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them. - Lewis Mumford

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. - Alan Bennett

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud. - Jesse Ventura

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana. - Lana Turner

Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

There's nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face. - Eva Hoffman

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

The art of healing comes from nature, not from the physician. Therefore the physician must start from nature, with an open mind. - Paracelsus

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner