In Stitches

I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Puns are a form of humor with words. - Guillermo C. Infante

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. - Mark Twain

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Our humor turns our anger into a fine art. - Mary Kay Blakely

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor. - Rainn Wilson

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James

Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb

Humor is one of the best ingredients of survival. - Aung San Suu Kyi

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way. - Allen Klein

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor. - Edward Albee

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense. - Jacob Riis

Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist's bills. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. - Fred Allen

Laughter crosses boundaries of class and age. Humour is universal. - Jeremy Lloyd

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

Good humor is one of the preservatives of our peace and tranquility. - Thomas Jefferson

Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor. - Michael J. Fox

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor. - Bernard Williams

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense. - Beau M

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. - Mark Twain

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance. - W Somerset Maugham

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself. - Clifton Fadiman

I've learned to have a sense of humor about myself. Lord knows everyone else does! - Debbie Gibson

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. - Maurice Sendak

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of our superiority to all that befalls us. - Romain Gary

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud. - Jesse Ventura

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road. - Henry Ward Beecher

Two things are important for missionaries: (1) they have a sense of humour; and (2) the have no sense of smell. - Phil Callaway

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana. - Lana Turner

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

I have never understood why it should be considered derogatory to the Creator to suppose that he has a sense of humor. - Ralph Inge

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

She raised us with humor, and she raised us to understand that not everything was going to be great, but how to laugh through it. - Liza Minnelli

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune. - Bert Williams

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. - Samuel Butler

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville