Ironic Gifts

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Life itself is a gift. - Daphne R Kingma

Neither irony or sarcasm is argument. - Samuel Butler

Fruitcake: The gift that keeps on giving - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Every good and perfect gift comes from above. - Bible

Irony is just honesty with the volume cranked up. - George Saunders

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

I'm not into cartoons. That's the irony of it. - Gary Larson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example. - Morell

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention. - Richard Moss

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. - Charles Dudley Warner

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. - Pablo Picasso

Irony is the form of paradox. Paradox is what is good and great at the same time. - Karl W F Schlegel

Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. - Leo Buscaglia

Clap an extinguisher upon your irony if you are unhappily blessed with a vein of it. - Charles Lamb

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Irony is a clear consciousness of an eternal agility, of the infinitely abundant chaos. - Karl W F Schlegel

You have a grand gift for silence, Watson. It makes you quite invaluable as a companion. - Arthur Conan Doyle

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and to take as a gift whatever the day brings forth. - Horace

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

Remembering is a gift - a silent gift, because it roots us in reality while at the same time pointing us towards eternity. - Raphael Anzenberger

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Why is sunset more colorful than sunrise? It's an irony of life saying, "Sometimes, good things happen in goodbyes." - Unknown

To be happy, you must fancy that everything you have is a gift, and you the chosen, though you worked your tail off for every bit of it. - Robert Brault

Pride causes us to use our gifts as though they came from ourselves, not benefits received from God, and to usurp our benefactor's glory. - Bernard of Clairvaux

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Isn't it ironic? We ignore the ones who adore us; adore the ones who ignore us; love the ones who hurt us; and hurt the ones that love us. - Unknown

Life is too ironic to fully understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is; noise to appreciate silence; and absence to value presence. - Unknown

Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer. - Barbara de Angelis