#1 humor site on the 'net

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Icicle cycling days

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Ice Cream: What I do when scared - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I detest him more than cold boiled veal. - Lord Macaulay

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. - Steven Wright

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything. - Billy Graham

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle I have hope for the human race. - H G Wells

Yachting: standing in a cold shower tearing up hundred-dollar bills. - Unknown

Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. - Albert Einstein

Business is like riding a bicycle. Either you keep moving or you fall down. - John D. Wright

People who take cold baths never have rheumatism, but they have cold baths. - American Proverb

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. - John Steinbeck

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you plan to stop pedaling. - Claude Pepper

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

A statistician can have his head in the oven and his feet in ice, and on average he feels fine. - Unknown

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle. - Steven Wright

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky


ORCAstraighted

'Outside The Box' Juggler

HeidleBurger

Sun Skin Tone

I Think I'll Just Go Around

People Of The River

Synonym Rolls

New Stormtrooper

Education Standstill

Pool Cleaner

Stool There

Soldier Tribute

It Was That Close

Messy Temper Tantrum

Big Tame Hunter

Exactly Enough Space

Coca Cola Twins

Sidetracked Baby

Breakthrough Blessings

Pauper's Graveside Service

Are You Ready?

Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes

Girlfriends

How To Weigh Yourself Correctly