#1 humor site on the 'net

New Nativity Scene

Yet another perspective...

New Nativity Scene thanks to Gene Defries

QuotaBills
Never trust sheep. - Ryan Stiles

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

He who becomes a sheep is eaten by the wolf. - Greek Proverb

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

If you make yourselves sheep, the wolves will eat you. - Benjamin Franklin

He that makes himself a sheep shall be eaten by a wolf. - Italian Proverb

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. - Garth Brooks

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. - Ruth Ann Schabacker

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

If you can't sleep do not count the sheep, worship the Shepherd. - Unknown

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - African Proverb

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. - Stendhal

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

Being President is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but stand there and take it. - Lyndon Johnson

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

Technology is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. - Carrie Snow

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple


Spanish Stairs

TyrannoSnowRus Rex

Hawaii Surfing

Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough

Before Online Dating

Wood Trike

Crow Species

Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Lockdown Advice

Wii Way

Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration

Biden in the Oval Office

Poor Fishing Day

Mustache Breeze