New Nativity Scene

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? - George Carlin

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

If you make yourselves sheep, the wolves will eat you. - Benjamin Franklin

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

If you can't sleep do not count the sheep, worship the Shepherd. - Unknown

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Unknown

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove. - Mark Twain

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. - Stendhal

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

Being President is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but stand there and take it. - Lyndon Johnson

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon