New Nativity Scene

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? - George Carlin

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

If you make yourselves sheep, the wolves will eat you. - Benjamin Franklin

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Unknown

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb

Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one. - Sam Rayburn

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. - Stendhal

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Being President is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but stand there and take it. - Lyndon Johnson

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon