#1 humor site on the 'net

Nintendo Auto Correct

Highway spellchecker

Nintendo Auto Correct thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I am the Roman Emperor and am above grammar. - Emperor Sigismund

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. - Robert H Schuller

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority. - Alfred Adler

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Reality can be lost when reason and language have been violated. - Ravi Zacharias

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment. - John Wooden

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

When a man falls into his anecdotage, it is a sign for him to retire from the world. - Benjamin Disraeli

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride, because it shows you trust in your own powers. - Mother Teresa

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence. - C S Lewis

Sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in. - Jane Austen

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

It's a sign of age if you feel like the morning after the night before and you haven't been anywhere. - Unknown

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak. Ever since you were born it's been a sign that you are alive. - Unknown

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Music expresses feeling and thought, without language; it was below and before speech, and it is above and beyond all words. - Robert G Ingersoll

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


The Ass Family

Kids Meal

Stretch Exercises You Can Do At Your Desk

A Foot Of Sun

Sushi Spine

Police Targeting

Happy Bird's Eye UU

Moose Parking

Glassman

Paint Pants

World Cup Attention Getter

Fear Of Light

Bird Condo

Very Cold Beer

Seniors Bike Club

Watching The World Cup

Friendly BBQ Reminder

Geek Piano

Ugly Haircut

XL Safety Shoes

Dance With Me

Secret Exit

Drawing A Fine Line

Fastest Land Mammal