#1 humor site on the 'net

Pelican Sunrise

Flying towards the start of a beautiful day

Pelican Sunrise thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Chicken: An egg factory - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hatchet: What a hen does to an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

Helicopter: An egg beater with ambition - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Cackle: The commercial announcement of a hen. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

It's a sad house where the hen crows louder than the cock. - Scottish Proverb

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

He's better at smelling rotten eggs than at laying good ones. - Unknown

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

I'll be down in the front row with a basket of last month's eggs. - WC Fields

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Hens do cackle loudest when there's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid. - Ambrose Bierce

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray

Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

The USA demanding that North Korea halt its nuclear program is akin to the fox demanding that the hens open their coup. - Steven Magee

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. - George Eliot

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Not every hen lay eggs. Not every hen that lays eggs gets them hatched. Not everyone born with greatness becomes as such. Go, hatch your eggs. - Israelmore Ayivor


Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1

Zamboni Date

Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside