#1 humor site on the 'net

Poultry Breakfast

Rethinking your not-so-eggsellent options

Poultry Breakfast thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Exact: What eggs do on stage - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hatchet: What a hen does to an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Them eggs over there are startin' to foment. - Archie Bunker

Eve: The first chicken to ruin a man's garden - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. - French Proverb

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. - Samuel Butler

Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket. - Mark Twain

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He's better at smelling rotten eggs than at laying good ones. - Unknown

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

I'll be down in the front row with a basket of last month's eggs. - WC Fields

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Hens do cackle loudest when there's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid. - Ambrose Bierce

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray

Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

The USA demanding that North Korea halt its nuclear program is akin to the fox demanding that the hens open their coup. - Steven Magee

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. - George Eliot

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

Not every hen lay eggs. Not every hen that lays eggs gets them hatched. Not everyone born with greatness becomes as such. Go, hatch your eggs. - Israelmore Ayivor


Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt

UNinvolved

Plane Oops!

Manitoba Home Security System

Outdoor Pool

Working From Home

Snowbound Train

Smirnoff Women

Redneck Dent Repair

Cocktail Shirt

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Boy George or Boy Gorge?