#1 humor site on the 'net

Poultry Breakfast

Rethinking your not-so-eggsellent options

Poultry Breakfast thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Hatchet: What a hen does to an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deviled Eggs: What wicked chickens lay - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

One good egg in a barrel of rotten apples. - Archie Bunker

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. - Samuel Butler

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs. - H L Mencken

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

I'll be down in the front row with a basket of last month's eggs. - WC Fields

Like blind hens, we are ignorant of our own self and the depths within us. - Johannes Tauler

If everything is good in the henhouse yous don't have to go out for eggs. - Archie Bunker

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling

Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. - Bernard Meltzer

The USA demanding that North Korea halt its nuclear program is akin to the fox demanding that the hens open their coup. - Steven Magee

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Not every hen lay eggs. Not every hen that lays eggs gets them hatched. Not everyone born with greatness becomes as such. Go, hatch your eggs. - Israelmore Ayivor


Hairy Egg

Trinidad vs UK Police

Pastor's Donkey

Wire Trees

Redneck Dog House

Wheelchair Wedding

Stray Dog Rescue

A Short Dump

Speaking The Truth

Anti Social Social Club

Punctuation Matters

A Beautiful Message About Growing Old

Ice Cream Rose

Wedding Pound Cake

Parking Justice

Is This Really Happening?!

The Explanation

High Strung Violinist

Deodorized Pads

Leteracy Night

Redneck Baby Carriage

Stealth Readers

Good Stuff Or Else

Productive Computers