Say No To Gasoline

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Irony is the hygiene of the mind. - Elizabeth Bibesco

Hypocrisy is the most obvious of sins. - John McCain

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy. - Ambrose Bierce

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Irony is just honesty with the volume cranked up. - George Saunders

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Two fundamental literary qualities" supernaturalism and irony. - Charles Baudelaire

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

Clap an extinguisher upon your irony if you are unhappily blessed with a vein of it. - Charles Lamb

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. - Maurice Sendak

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

The first virtue of all really great men is that they are sincere. They eradicate hypocrisy from their hearts. - Anotole France

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz