Say No To Gasoline

Hypocrisy is the lubricant of society. - David Hull

Hypocrisy is the most obvious of sins. - John McCain

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Irony regards every simple truth as a challenge. - Mason Cooley

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Humour and irony include tragedy; they're two sides of the same coin. - Maurizio Cattelan

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. - Maurice Sendak

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

The salesman knows nothing of what he is selling save that he is charging a great deal too much for it. - Oscar Wilde

The irony of the matter is that the future generations do not have a vote. In effect, we hold their proxy. - Charles J Hitch

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

True kitsch has nothing to do with irony. It's very honest. It represents what people like, their dreams. - Marcel Wanders

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

I find capitalism repugnant. It is filthy, it is gross, it is alienating... because it causes war, hypocrisy and competition. - Fidel Castro

Why is sunset more colorful than sunrise? It's an irony of life saying, "Sometimes, good things happen in goodbyes." - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

If you don't value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents. Value what you know and start charging for it. - Kim Garst