Say No To Gasoline

Irony is the hygiene of the mind. - Elizabeth Bibesco

Neither irony or sarcasm is argument. - Samuel Butler

People use irony as a defense mechanism. - David Byrne

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

A Chicken in Every Pot and a Car in Every Garage - Herbert Hoover

Irony is just honesty with the volume cranked up. - George Saunders

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Two fundamental literary qualities: supernaturalism and irony. - Charles Baudelaire

Irony became the head that bit its tail and then there is no way out. - Alejandro G Inarritu

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Current Events: 1. What an electrician worries about; 2. Electric shocks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

The first virtue of all really great men is that they are sincere. They eradicate hypocrisy from their hearts. - Anotole France

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman