#1 humor site on the 'net

Say No To Gasoline

Irony or Hypocrisy?

Say No To Gasoline thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Flying Buttress: A charging billy goat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People use irony as a defense mechanism. - David Byrne

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy. - Ambrose Bierce

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Traffic Ticket: Finale of the policeman's bawl - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hypocrite is a man who pays his taxes with a smile. - Will Rogers

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

I'm not into cartoons. That's the irony of it. - Gary Larson

Irony is the gaiety of reflection and the joy of wisdom. - Anatole France

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

Irony became the head that bit its tail and then there is no way out. - Alejandro G Inarritu

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Clap an extinguisher upon your irony if you are unhappily blessed with a vein of it. - Charles Lamb

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Irony is a clear consciousness of an eternal agility, of the infinitely abundant chaos. - Karl W F Schlegel

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. - Maurice Sendak

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

The salesman knows nothing of what he is selling save that he is charging a great deal too much for it. - Oscar Wilde

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

True kitsch has nothing to do with irony. It's very honest. It represents what people like, their dreams. - Marcel Wanders

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt


Mandeville Mascot

Morning After Dog

Thanks Granny

Redneck Hands-Free Driving

No Passing Lanes

One-Knight Stands

Live Long Street

Texas Car Wash

1934 Modern Home

Breakfast Cupcakes

Microsoft Messenger - Prototype

Five Firm Brakes Tire

Dark Side Bus Stop

Only in Las Vegas

Sailing Duck

Redneck Stairs

Computer Challenged

1st Rolex

Tennis Plant

Florida Moves Out Of Hurricane Zone

Small Bills

Denmark Traffic Signals

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Game Car