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Shower Bar

On Doctor's Orders

Yesterday I had my annual medical checkup. The Doctor said that, at my age, I should have a bar in the shower. So I took his advice.
Shower Bar thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

The sweetest grapes are picked from the vineyard of friendship. - French Proverb

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The vine bears three kinds of grapes: the first of pleasure, the second of intoxication, the third of disgust. - Diogenes

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman


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