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Shower Bar

On Doctor's Orders

Yesterday I had my annual medical checkup. The Doctor said that, at my age, I should have a bar in the shower. So I took his advice.
Shower Bar thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

That one kind of grapes on my nerves. - Archie Bunker

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

The sweetest grapes are picked from the vineyard of friendship. - French Proverb

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright


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