#1 humor site on the 'net

Sorry Employees

Are you a sorry employee?

Sorry Employees thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Weekends are an employee's parole. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Very sorry can't come. Lie follows by post. - Charles Beresford

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry. - Philip Simborg

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. - Robert H Schuller

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified. - Aesop

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

Sorry, I don't take orders. I barely take suggestions. - Unknown

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it. - Earl Wilson

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

Grab a chance and you won't be sorry for a might have been. - Arthur Mitchell Ransome

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Reality can be lost when reason and language have been violated. - Ravi Zacharias

Who marries for love without money has merry nights and sorry days. - Scottish Proverb

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal

Love in the real world means saying you're sorry 10 times a day. - Kathie Lee Gifford

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Treat your employees exactly as you want them to treat your best customers. - Stephen R Covey

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

Language: The blood of the soul into which thoughts run, and out of which they grow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M Wright

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

Flight Risk: Employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Tears shed for self are tears of weakness, but tears shed for others are a sign of strength. - Billy Graham

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence. - Lawrence J Peter

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence. - C S Lewis

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak. Ever since you were born it's been a sign that you are alive. - Unknown

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. - Unknown

Delegating doesn't mean passing off work you don't enjoy, but letting your employees stretch their skills and judgment. - Harvey Mackay

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. - Dale Carnegie

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire. - Samuel Johnson

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid


Rotating Illusion - Pink Eye Trick

Boneless Bananas

That's My Bed

Eye For Coffee

Logging Moose

Firemen's Revenge

Just In Thyme

Kapalua Resort - The Plantation Course

Alberta Hood Ornament

Outside Urinal

Fixer-Uppers

Just Divorced

Flannel Frontier

Humour in the Workplace

Colour Wheel

Milky Way

Security Guard

Wet Floor Caution

Stealth Birdhouse

Volvorine

Gas Prices of Yesteryear

Jurassic Pork

Wine Time Finally

Cheap Jeep