#1 humor site on the 'net

Time Travel

For those interested in past accomplishments

Time Travel thanks to Chris Kane

Meeting of adjusted focus

QuotaBills
Good things take time. - John Wooden

We cannot escape history. - Abraham Lincoln

You may delay, but time will not. - Benjamin Franklin

Busy souls have no time to be busybodies. - O'Malley

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

I wasted time, and now doth time waste me. - William Shakespeare

People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi

The time is always ripe to do what is right. - Martin Luther King Jr.

You may ask me for anything you like except time. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I am just turning 40 and taking my time about it. - Harold Lloyd

History books that contain no lies are extremely dull. - Anatole France

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. - Mark Twain

A people without history is like the wind on the buffalo grass. - Lakota Sioux Proverb

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

He who has done his best for his own time has lived for all times. - Friedrich Schiller

The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page. - St. Augustine

Friendship requires more time than poor busy men can usually command. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. - Unknown

All of history is fused with His meaning because history is HIS-story. - Ravi Zacharias

I don't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead. - Mark Twain

You live longer once you realize that any time spent being unhappy is wasted. - Ruth E Renkl

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble. - Adlai Stevenson

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you can do something with your eyes closed, it's time to find something new. - Kathie L Gifford

I am going to give a long speech today. I haven't had time to prepare a short one. - Winston Churchill

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

Don't waste your time in anger, regrets, worries, and grudges. Life is too short to be unhappy. - Roy T. Bennett

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. - Bil Keane

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadsworth

Most of us spend too much time on the last twenty-four hours and too little on the last six thousand years. - Will Durant

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. - James Agate

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

Every dad, if he takes time out of his busy life to reflect upon his fatherhood, can learn ways to become an even better dad. - Jack Baker

You are no more exempt from time's inexorable passing than Macbeth. Whether time is your friend or foe depends on how you use it. - Patricia Fripp

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

God created us for love, for union, for forgiveness and compassion and, yet, that has not been our storyline. That has not been our history. - Richard Rohr

Lawyers have the singular distinction of being able to play the hero and villain at the same time. Depending on where you stand in a courthouse. - Lenox Mhlanga


Shopping-ish

Head Twins

Pickup Park

Diet Hard

Go Nowhere Bike

Master Reference Binder

Do You See A Bird or a Girl?

Car Moochanic

Wife's Small Mistake

Redneck TP

Backwards Clock

Redneck House Move

New World Record Holder

World's Hardest Golf Shot

Safe Bike

Donut Hole History

Church Flight

Jews: The Revenge

Israel Security

Breakfast In Bed

Antler Field

Redneck Stove Burner

Texas Earrings

A Man's Life