#1 humor site on the 'net

Time Travel

For those interested in past accomplishments

Time Travel thanks to Chris Kane

Meeting of adjusted focus

QuotaBills
Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

History is written by the victors. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

The time is always right to do what is right. - Martin Luther King Jr.

A stitch in time would have confused Einstein. - Unknown

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Don't wait. The time will never be just right. - Napoleon Hill

History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot. - Mark Twain

Each time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever. - Audre Lorde

People are trapped in history and history is trapped in them. - James A. Baldwin

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. - Will Rogers

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. - Mark Twain

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. - Steven Wright

The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours. - Arthur Lacey

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

In order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do the next time. - Anthony d'Angelo

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. - Andy Warhol

You may have heard some funny comedians in your time - Milton Berlin, Don Trickles. - Archie Bunker

Often we have no time for our friends, but all the time in the world for our enemies. - Billy Joel

Writing and travel broaden your ass if not your mind and I like to write standing up. - Ernest Hemingway

Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity. - Kay R. Jamison

Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in. - Andrew Jackson

Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. - E.B. White

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

I'm just a lucky slob from Ohio who happened to be in the right place at the right time. - Clark Gable

Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time. - Viktor E. Frankl

The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen

Once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme. - Seamus Heaney

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after. - Tim Conway

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time. - E.B. White

Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. - M. Scott Peck

To be loved at first sight, a man should have at the same time something to respect and something to pity in his face. - Stendhal

You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it, it's not a mistake, it's a choice. - Unknown

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. - James Agate

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land. - G K Chesterton

You can just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they'll want something new. - Steve Jobs


It's Movie Time

In The Dog House

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Diaper Change

Palestinian Security Check

Wurst-Case Scenario

High-Rise Inifinity Pool

Winter Kayaking

Balanced Family Life

Closed Ahead

Forgettable Fishing Trips

I've Got Your Back

Dr Pepper Financing

Wine Therapy

Weakest Part

Cycle Circles

My New Diet

We Is Closed

Cheap Child Support

Ankle Warning

Peanut Sale

Beer Chess

Astronomy Perspective

Wolf Chase