#1 humor site on the 'net

Tomato Sprouts

Sprouting new growth in the supermarket

Tomato Sprouts thanks to Howard Chapman

Tomato Sprouts thanks to Howard Chapman

Tomato Sprouts thanks to Howard Chapman

QuotaBills
Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

For me, the cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

Because the sweeter the cake, the more bitter the jelly can be. - Lady Gaga

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli


Back Pain

No Extras Massage

Gooooooooooogle Air

Hot Tub Hangups

Scenery Cut and Paste

Origin of the Whoopee Cushion

Better With A Beard

Canadian Winter Smile

Monkey Morning

Snow Geese

Walk The Line

Darth Vader Cool

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Cutting Edge Table

Wine Signs

Ring Seating

Snow Aerobics

25 Toes

Wedding Cake Dress

Bacon Soda Sales

Wet Insect

Chinese New Year Greetings

Gun Laws

Mounted Deer Antlers