What Do You Want For Christmas?

Old men are twice children. - Greek Proverb

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

The soul is healed by being with children. - Fyodor Dostoyevski

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

I love children if they're cooked properly. - WC Fields

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them. - Lady Bird Johnson

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. - Giacomo Leopardi

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. - Haim Ginott

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

Nature reserves the right to inflict upon her children the most terrifying jests. - Thornton Wilder

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
when they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. - Aristotle

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take ‘em. - Bernie Mac

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

The fundamental defect of fathers, in our competitive society, is that they want their children to be a credit to them. - Bertrand Russell

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system. - Quentin Crewe

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Our society is walking through a maze of cultural land mines and the heaviest price is exacted as we send our children on ahead. - Ravi Zacharias

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about. - Criss Jami

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou