What Do You Want For Christmas?

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

The soul is healed by being with children. - Fyodor Dostoyevski

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson

The two things children wear out are clothes and parents. - Unknown

Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children. - Walt Disney

The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children. - Elaine Heffner

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you. - Dick Cavett

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Prose is architecture, not interior decoration, and the Baroque is over. - Ernest Hemingway

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. - Haim Ginott

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. - Unknown

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffett

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

The best thing I've ever done? Well, I've created four beautiful children. You mean, other than that? - Donald Trump

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. - P J O'Rourke

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy. - George Bernard Shaw

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales. - Albert Einstein

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

Most of what we object to as misconduct in children is a natural rebellion against the intrusion of an unimaginative adult despotism in their lives. - Floyd Dell