What Do You Want For Christmas?

I like children - fried. - WC Fields

Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Wok The Dog: Specialty at Vietnamese Restaurants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. - Steven Wright

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children. - Walt Disney

What you teach your own children is what you really believe in. - Cathy Warner Weatherford

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard. - Margaret C Banning

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. - Rita Rudner

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

It's not that age brings childhood back again. Age merely shows what children we remain. - Goethe

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. - Fran Lebowitz

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. - Liz Armbruster

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. - Aristotle

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Since it is so likely that children will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage. - C S Lewis

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver