What Do You Want For Christmas?

Old men are twice children. - Greek Proverb

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

The best way to make children is to make them happy. - Oscar Wilde

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children. - Walt Disney

What a morning - fresh as if issued to children on a beach. - Virginia Woolf

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Children see things very well sometimes - and idealists even better. - Lorraine Hansbury

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

If we don't stand up for children, then we don't stand for much. - Marian W. Edelman

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives. - Mark Batterson

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers. - John J Plomp

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate. - Nancy Astor

Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. - Doug Larson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it. - Mona Crane

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. - Bill Hicks

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them. - Antoine de Saint-Expurey

Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Johnny Depp

Most of what we object to as misconduct in children is a natural rebellion against the intrusion of an unimaginative adult despotism in their lives. - Floyd Dell