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What Do You Want For Christmas?

Now that I have your complete attention...

What Do You Want For Christmas? thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Old men are twice children. - Greek Proverb

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

The best way to make children is to make them happy. - Oscar Wilde

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children. - Walt Disney

What a morning - fresh as if issued to children on a beach. - Virginia Woolf

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Children see things very well sometimes - and idealists even better. - Lorraine Hansbury

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

If we don't stand up for children, then we don't stand for much. - Marian W. Edelman

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives. - Mark Batterson

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers. - John J Plomp

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate. - Nancy Astor

Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. - Doug Larson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it. - Mona Crane

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. - Bill Hicks

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them. - Antoine de Saint-Expurey

Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Johnny Depp

Most of what we object to as misconduct in children is a natural rebellion against the intrusion of an unimaginative adult despotism in their lives. - Floyd Dell


Five Firm Brakes Tire

Dark Side Bus Stop

Only in Las Vegas

Sailing Duck

Redneck Stairs

Computer Challenged

1st Rolex

Tennis Plant

Florida Moves Out Of Hurricane Zone

Small Bills

Denmark Traffic Signals

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Game Car

Overloaded Mailbox

Redneck Phone

Enjoy Fresh Air

Bread Board

Snaccident

Mini Bar

Frisbee Stopper

Redneck Sushi

Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert