#1 humor site on the 'net

Wrong Planet

You're not Fat: 100 kg on Earth = 37 kg on Mars

Wrong Planet thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

There is no gravity. The earth sucks. - Graffito

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you. - Joan Rivers

The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth - Lao-tzu

The 'Earth' without art is just 'eh'. - Unknown

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

Leave off all thin potations and addict thyself to sack. - William Shakespeare

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

You are the only person on Earth who can use your ability. - Zig Ziglar

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! - Demetri Martin

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Be humble for you are made of earth. Be noble for you are made of stars. - Serbian Proverb

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy C Fisher

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby

Juicing isn't about binging and cleansing; I try to incorporate it into a balanced diet. - Eddie Huang

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person. - G K Chesterton

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. - Josh Billings

You think so logically... like a hawk soaring - I feel so chaotically... like a kite without a tail plummeting to earth. - John Geddes

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster

Look at everything as though you were seeing it for either the first or last time. Then your time on earth will be filled with glory. - Betty Smith

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus


Dream The Impossible

When Life Gets You Down

Redneck Estate Sale

How To Tweet Others

Nutella Soother

Autumn Camouflage

Go Play Outside

Be Someone

Arkansas Divorce Application

Three Finger Carrot

Braided Horse Tail

Owl Glove

Far North Cable Guys

Openish Hours

Lead Sled Dog

Pet Food Tester

Gold Bar Carrot Cake

Looking For A Mate

Food For Thought

Kanye Twitty

Skull Tentacles

Ukrainian Cattle Car

CreepEye

Canadian Whiskey