#1 humor site on the 'net

Awesome 'P' Door

Six, Upside Down and Turned Around

Awesome 'P' Door thanks to Irma Burgess

QuotaBills
Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When one door shuts, a hundred open. - Spanish Proverb

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. - Unknown

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door. - Emily Dickinson

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. - Steven Wright

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. - Flora Whittemore

When the prison doors are opened, the real dragon will fly out. - Ho Chi Minh

Shut the door will the 2 of yas, we're catchin' ammonia. - Archie Bunker

Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before. - Joseph Campbell

The door on which we have been knocking all our lives will open at last. - C S Lewis

Window: 1. A looking-out glass; 2. Place in the truck to hang your guns. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Let everyone sweep in front of his door and the whole world will be clean. - Mother Teresa

I'm an emotional eater. When I get upset, my diet goes out the window. - Kelly Osbourne

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. - John Barrymore

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. - Rodney Dangerfield

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

I like holding the door for people who are far away, so they have to run a little. - Bill Murray

Some people not only expect opportunity to knock, they expect it to beat the door down. - Unknown

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

If quantum mechanics hasn't profoundly shocked you, you haven't understood it yet. - Niels Bohr

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park. - Dolly Parton

Have you ever wondered why opportunity only knocks once, yet temptation bangs on the door constantly? - Unknown

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. - Ani DiFranco

Window Screen: 1. A device to prevent the escape of insects; 2. A device for keeping flies in the house. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can spend your precious energy beating down closed doors, or you can choose the doors that open when you knock. - Unknown

Monkey: 1. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees; 2. A key that won't open a door. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

“But it doesn't take a thousand men to open a door, my lord."
"It might to keep it open.” - Ursula K. Le Guin

No business can stay in business without customers. How you treat - or mistreat - them determines how long your doors stay open. - Harvey Mackay

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. - Peter F Drucker

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson


Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway

They All Look So Jacozy

Sunset Eclipse

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug

Nerve Twitch

Yellowstone Bears

Kayak Funeral

Dutch Bike

Breadlace

Sled Dog

Hog Hunter