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Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor

I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins

Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Time is a physician that heals every grief. - Diphilus

Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb

When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Though physician to others, yet himself full of sores. - Latin Proverb

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen

He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood

Yoga is the fountain of youth. You're only as young as your spine is flexible. - Bob Harper

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz