#1 humor site on the 'net

Bathroom Smoker

Kermit finds a place in the house where he can smoke

Bathroom Smoker thanks to Tim Smith

QuotaBills
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. - Sigmund Freud

Johnny Cash: A dime for the pay toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath. - Sylvia Plath

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. - Mark Twain

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. - Robin Williams

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you. - Mae West

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. - Mark Twain

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker


Bottle Sneakret

Removed Posts

Second Hand Work

Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons