Cat Burglar

Property is robbery. - Latin Proverb

You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

My socks DO match. They're the same thickness. - Steven Wright

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

Ladies' Sewing Circle: Where more husbands are darned than socks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. - Steven Wright

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

A good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H L Mencken

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks. - Groucho Marx

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen